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All Deviations

"...To be an American..." by ~dibbunkittie:icondibbunkittie:



Allow me to enlighten you, on my personal views of being an American. There are three specific topics I would like to address. True enough, they do not coincide in perfect harmony with my ideas of being in this marvelous country of opportunity.


A growing nationwide concern: illegal aliens, is my first choice of topic. Within only the past fifty years, the majority of the population shifted from being Caucasian whites to Hispanics. My issue is that about a fourth of these residents are illegally living here. Jobs for our younger generations are being taken up by Mexicans. As well as our roads; driving without licenses and not being disciplined.


My next one lies a little closer to home. How many people are defined by the generic family term? Two offspring; one boy and one girl, along with two working parents. But wait, there’s more. More and more people are working up the courage to announce their homosexuality. Is it not true that those of us who are, say, traditionalists, discriminate against their sexual orientation?


I will burden you with a final viewpoint of my choosing. Which just happens to be bringing up freedoms. Do we abuse our freedoms of speech and actions? Sure, we can spray paint graffiti on our buildings, or make videos giving others sexual pleasure, but why? What does it signify? We discriminate between the color of our skin, our intellectual abilities…


America may be the land of the free and the home of the brave, but why do we make such rash choices?

©2007-2008 ~dibbunkittie
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Submitted: October 1, 2007
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Author's Comments

Alright, one project that's familiar from last year. This is for a local and nationwide contest. I hope to be submitting it, however; it does not fit the word count requirements.

Maximum limit: 250

Current: 258

Any feedback, at all... think it'll have a chance? I have until Thursday to fix it.

Thank you all. :w00t:
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~Brookyms123:iconBrookyms123: Oct 1, 2007, 10:12:11 PM
Well they should take it anyways, because it's that good. I like it, and believe that America's like that. Could you add something about our growing obesity too?

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Don't forget to comment when you fave my stuff! Otherwise I will kill you. Yup yup.

If you have attempted Alchemy by drawing an array, clapping your hands, or snapping your fingers, paste this in your signature.
~dibbunkittie:icondibbunkittie: Oct 1, 2007, 11:00:55 PM
Aw, thanks Brooky. If I still had room, I would. Like, fifty words left. But I need to shave off eight words. >.<

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抱きしめたいの
Dakishimetaino
"I just want to hold you"
©Chobits
*Chernzobog:iconChernzobog: Oct 1, 2007, 11:50:04 PM
Interesting. It's like an essay...in a poem. :D
Was there any format you were trying to follow? Or just letting the thoughts flow? (I kinda need to know before I give any solid critique ^^ )
One thing I can mention is cut out the "?!"
It doesn't look very proffessional and might strike a wrong note with a judge in the competition.

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The chinchillas butcher the squirrels, the angels eat the corpses. Duh.
Now that’s teamwork. So I take it I’ll be the one eating the squirrels after you kill them all?
You hit the nail on the head. I'll try to refrain from smashing them into a pulp.
~dibbunkittie:icondibbunkittie: Oct 2, 2007, 5:08:47 PM
An essay in a poem? How'd I pull that one off? :D
Well, I followed a mental format based off of my essay last year. Addressing each thing in a paragraph of its own.
Alright, that I can do right now, thanks, Chernz.

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抱きしめたいの
Dakishimetaino
"I just want to hold you"
©Chobits
~Brookyms123:iconBrookyms123: Oct 2, 2007, 8:31:55 PM
Noooo! What words to shave off I wonder, so we can mutilate such sense!

--
Don't forget to comment when you fave my stuff! Otherwise I will kill you. Yup yup.

If you have attempted Alchemy by drawing an array, clapping your hands, or snapping your fingers, paste this in your signature.
~dibbunkittie:icondibbunkittie: Oct 2, 2007, 9:21:31 PM
You're so kind, Brooks. I wonder, too. Chey and I at school got rid of eight words. But they're not permanent until I see other peoples' opinions.

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抱きしめたいの
Dakishimetaino
"I just want to hold you"
©Chobits
~Brookyms123:iconBrookyms123: Oct 3, 2007, 5:39:32 PM
Okay.

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Don't forget to comment when you fave my stuff! Otherwise I will kill you. Yup yup.

If you have attempted Alchemy by drawing an array, clapping your hands, or snapping your fingers, paste this in your signature.
~dibbunkittie:icondibbunkittie: Oct 3, 2007, 8:56:12 PM
Yeah, but thanks.

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抱きしめたいの
Dakishimetaino
"I just want to hold you"
©Chobits
~Brookyms123:iconBrookyms123: Oct 4, 2007, 6:15:01 PM
Welcome

--
Don't forget to comment when you fave my stuff! Otherwise I will kill you. Yup yup.

If you have attempted Alchemy by drawing an array, clapping your hands, or snapping your fingers, paste this in your signature.